Yolanda grows on you. She grew on me, and her memory is embedded deeply in my psyche. I remember her gentle manners, sweet voice, smiling face, her child-like giggles, chuckles and infectious laughter. I wake up every morning to see, in my bathroom, the cloth elephant tissue case she brought back from Chiangmai, and in the kitchen, the tea towel she brought back from Turkey. And yes, the practical gifts of boutique soaps, creams and hand sanitizers that she picked up during her travels for her friends. She asked not to be given presents but would never say no to food (cooked, not raw!). She loved good food (including chocolates and cakes), but couldn’t cook to save her life, and I used to pull her leg about licking her spick and span kitchen counters and floor! When not eating out, she made do with her beloved wholemeal sandwiches and salad. She often spiced up her sandwiches with balachon, a Burmese condiment of dried shrimp, onion and garlic, made by Daw Hpyu Hpyu Gyan, wife of U Myint Soe, part of her adopted Burmese family. I was a beneficiary too, for she often passed me some.

Last Meetings

We saw each other often, more frequently than I had realized. Our last meeting was on 18 November 2010, when we entertained fellow librarian Ho Chooi Hon and husband Ho Yik Chee visiting from Melbourne at the Peramakan Restaurant which served her favourite Nyonya dishes. Linda Yip, formerly with ISEAS, treated us to a belated birthday dinner on 5 October 2010. On 15 September 2010, we celebrated our September birthdays together (a practice she started) at a new Nyonya restaurant.

Early Days

We first met some 38 years ago! It was followed by meeting mostly at library conferences—she from Singapore and me from Kuala Lumpur. We kept in touch through the mail, writing cards to each other. I would apprise her of the library situation in Malaysia and she would respond empathetically as we traded news. Our friendship grew when I relocated to Singapore in the late 1980s—she was one of the first chief librarians to whom I paid a courtesy call. Subsequently, we saw each other at LAS and other meetings, and met for lunches and dinners. It was not until the 1993 Jakarta CONSAL that we became closer. I roomed with a library colleague and we planned to stay on for an acquisitions field trip.Yolanda was in dire straits. She had lost her hotel room, but had arranged to see the Toraja in Sulawesi the next day, and was to return to Jakarta two days later. Since we were to stay for another week, I offered to share our huge king-size bed. Imagine the girly giggly time we had.

Opening Up

It was a pleasant surprise to see her open up. She was casual, easy going, humorous and prone to hearty laughter. We exchanged hilarious stories about the loves of our lives. We went shopping over the weekend, and I teased her when her tongue slipped asking to see the batik’s kelapa (coconut), instead of kepala (head), at the batik shop.

Yolanda never forgot a good deed. Soon after, she invited me to her home many times to sumptuous meals of curries cooked, not by Yolanda but a friend. I was privileged to have been included in her circle of intimate friends. A personal loss in 1995 left a huge void in her life. But she picked herself up, renewed her friendships, hobbies and travels, of the latter literally right to the end of her days. She became more spiritual. Almost every morning around 5:30, she walked several kilometres to the Church of St. Ignatius, and then back via the Botanic Gardens. She volunteered for church work and other charities. In 2005, she and a church friend accompanied an SIA planeload of goodies to Sri Lanka and helped to distribute them to survivors of the 26 December 2004 tsunami.

Life Post-Retirement

After she retired on 6 September 2002, we spent more time together. She would inform me of the arts scene, and bought tickets to those that we wanted to go. We either started off with an early meal or ended with a late dinner. There were the many walks: along the canal in Ghim Moh, by the river bank in Clementi/Sunset way, in Labrador Park, from Hort Park to Henderson Waves Bridge. One day we walked late into the night and missed our Penang char kueh teow stall at ABC Brickworks by half an hour! Once, after a LAS outing to Pulau Ubin, we returned by bus and seven of us on board the SBS bus were thrown about by the reckless driver. I wrote a complaint to SBS about the ‘wreckless’ driver—an error that made us quits for malapropisms, much to Yolanda’s delight!

The last holiday we spent together was an eight-day trip to the backwaters of Kerala with six others in 2008—it was one of the best holidays I had ever had. Everyone was agreeable, had similar taste in food, activities, and even ayurvedic massage!

We played gin rummy at every opportunity. It was Yolanda’s introduction to the game, and we saw a ‘new’ facet of her. Her competitive spirit, together with beginner’s luck, won her many games—much to our childish dismay! Each time she won, she stood up and shrieked with joy. We screamed back in disbelief. In the middle of one night, we made this raucous cacophony in our kettuvalam (houseboat) moored by the side of the lake. The next night we were banished to the centre of the lake as we had disturbed other boats moored alongside! We played two more games at the airport prior to boarding the return flight to Singapore. Again Yolanda won, and we repeated the usual deafening din! We nearly missed the plane, but the staff found us quickly, guided by our guffaws.

Of Passion and a Zest for Life

Yolanda had an incredible passion and a zest for life, always curious and game to try anything. Let me share this email of 18 July 2010 she wrote after we hit the town in the middle of the night for the Night Festival:

• Sunday, July 18, 2010, 12:38 AM
• Dear Kim See
• Thank you very much for an enjoyable time with you on Friday evening. You kindly dropped me home about 1.30 a.m. and I finally turned in about 4 a.m. after a shower, some newspaper reading, this, that and the other. Now, would you believe it? I slept till 2 p.m.!! It helped that it was cool and darkish. I heard the rain falling and thought of checking the time every now and again but decided to indulge myself. I must have over-done my morning walk and then [our] walk to the Henderson Waves and the standing at the Night Festival all combined to make me create a sleep record for myself. The strange thing is that I didn’t feel tired at all after the evening’s activities which I was really pleased to have done with you, thanks to you for being so game. How about you? I presume you arrived home safely. Did you also sleep in?
• Love, Yolanda

That was Yoland’s endearing style—a note of thanks by email or phone to her host after a treat.

Yolanda was interested in her environment, the world around her, especially what her friends did, and expressed her opinion freely. In one animated and intimate discussion, we found how much our values converged (perhaps partly because of both being Nyonyas of Chinese Peranakan culture from Penang) and that we had so much in common.

Once a Librarian, Always a Librarian

In 2005, Yolanda returned to professional work when I desperately needed an experienced cataloguer to create metadata for our multimedia collection. At that time, metadata was just being studied and tested for adoption in Singapore libraries. Yolanda had a good go at the project and established formats for us, including writing a formal report on her experience and recommendations. She was a perfectionist, meticulous, with high standards in cataloguing. Her professionalism was unsurpassed. Her spoken and written English were impeccable—she was like a walking dictionary, but was always polite and well-meaning when pointing out errors. Yolanda felt at home in ISEAS Library, easily making friends with staff who respected and liked her; she frequently distributed chocolates, cakes and sweets.

Earlier, in August 2002, Yolanda presented the ISEAS Library with a large beautiful Burmese kalaga (embroidery) of a Naga (dragon) motif. It is hung prominently in the Reference room. This artwork was given to her by her close Burmese friend U Myint Soe.

Elegance, Humility and Humanity
The petite Yolanda was immaculate in her dressing, taking pains to coordinate her colourful, but simple attire. She liked red, especially scarlet, which went well with her enviable flawless tanned complexion and radiant platinum hair. She gave up dying her hair after she became allergic to a chemical that bloated her whole head and face, “like a cabbage patch doll,” she told me. She was faithful to decorum, courtesy and politeness and could be formal when the occasion demanded it. She was a good judge of character. She brooked no nonsense, had integrity and the courage of her convictions. She was honest and sincere. Above all, she was thoughtful, considerate, compassionate and generous. She always responded to appeals for help, and would ask me if I could assist when she was not able to. She was a loyal and supportive friend. I was deeply touched when she put my name forward as Singapore’s nominee for the Southeast Asian Outstanding Librarian award in 2001, and she was visibly disappointed when it went to the Philippines nominee. She wanted to object, that the judges had made a mistake, but I convinced her that it was not meant to be, invoking my Buddhist rationale, which was, not surprisingly, accepted by this devout Catholic!

That was Yolanda, the apparently prim and proper, no nonsense Ms Beh who brought light, joy and laughter into our lives. We were fortunate and blessed to have been her friends. She was the epitome of an extraordinary person who loved unconditionally. I miss her, dearly.

Contributed by Ch’ng Kim See